The rules of survival in Moscow for a foreigner

Today I’ve read an article “The rules of survival in Moscow for a foreigner” and decided to translate some items, as far as that’s all true XDDD (Oh Vanya, forgive me for this… it doesn’t mean I do not love you! LOL)

So, here it is.

1. If a seller in a shop doesn’t smile and doesn’t greet you, but stirs with a dark expression at his face near a cash desk, it doesn’t mean that there was a robbery or a seller has a personal hostility against tourists. A benign mood of a salesperson is expressed with a silence and a respectful ignoring of a customer. If a seller is in a bad mood or doesn’t like something, he’ll tell a traveller about it himself.

2. If a tourist wants to buy something in a shop far distant from the center of the city, he should be less pretentious and express himself with gestures. The gorgeousness of Shakespeare’s language would hardly be appreciated. Though identified… maybe. French, Spanish, Italian and other exotica won’t find understanding at all.

3. After your arrival at the airport, you’d better not use the services of a personal driver (if you hadn’t pay for an extreme tour “To be lost in snows somewhere in the outskirts of Moscow region”). Though remember, that if you hadn’t ordered a taxi before and now catch it near an airport, it will cost 4-5 times more.

4. A ticket to the metro is sold in the metro only. Forget about kiosks! Metro is a separate city, having its own rules and being guarded by its own Cerberuses. By the way, forget about tickets which are valid for an hour, a day, three days or a week. You should pay for every entry, and tickets for 5-10-20 entries would be just a bit cheaper. Every 1st day of any month you’ll find a rally near a ticket office with a ticket queue comparable with a queue to the Pushkin Museum at the weekend only.

5. But then, after entering the metro, you can spend there even the whole day, if you do not mind a dinner, consisting of stale hamburger and pepsi-cola. Though don’t forget you won’t find toilets anywhere, but on the surface (and definitely not near every metro station).

6. You can buy a ticket for a bus, a trolleybus or a tram at driver’s cab – though a driver will hardly have a change for your notes. Or at a box near a station - if you’ll be so lucky to see it open. Even the Muscovites rarely have such a luck.

7. You should enter a front door of a bus only – even if there is a half of the city trying to enter with you.

8. We do not recommend you to cross the street anywhere, but in the underpass. OK, three of ten drivers will probably brake after seeing a pedestrian crossing the street (even if it’s a green traffic light for pedestrians), but you’ll never guess surely, which three it would be. There are better ways to play a “Russian roulette”. And in the underpass your chances to be run over by a car are the least. Though they still do not come to nothing…

9. All foreigners pay much more than Russians for visiting a museum, a picture gallery or a historic monument. And that’s not a discount for local residents, that’s a rule, established in Soviets times – rich capitalists should be deprived of their money in favor of Soviet art. The Soviet times are gone, the robbery remains – a common situation in Russia.

10. Before visiting the Red Square, don’t forget to take your passport and documents, confirming your registration at the hotel. Otherwise, the valiant policemen, being very glad to discover you don’t have necessary documents, will decide that you don’t need your money, too.

P.S. What I do love in my fellow countrymen is their sense of humour towards bad sides of our dear Motherland XDDD
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Vansaires

Author:Vansaires
e-mail: moku@list.ru

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