Sound Horizon

And now I'm with a question...

Maybe someone knows and would be so kind >_< to retell me the plot of Sound Horizon's stories? It seems to me like this group is popular in China also... And I've become a real fan XDDD Though I can not find in English Internet anything about stories they tell in their albums T_T I'm so curious about it... Especially about latest release,"Moira".

The rules of survival in Moscow for a foreigner

Today I’ve read an article “The rules of survival in Moscow for a foreigner” and decided to translate some items, as far as that’s all true XDDD (Oh Vanya, forgive me for this… it doesn’t mean I do not love you! LOL)

So, here it is.

1. If a seller in a shop doesn’t smile and doesn’t greet you, but stirs with a dark expression at his face near a cash desk, it doesn’t mean that there was a robbery or a seller has a personal hostility against tourists. A benign mood of a salesperson is expressed with a silence and a respectful ignoring of a customer. If a seller is in a bad mood or doesn’t like something, he’ll tell a traveller about it himself.

2. If a tourist wants to buy something in a shop far distant from the center of the city, he should be less pretentious and express himself with gestures. The gorgeousness of Shakespeare’s language would hardly be appreciated. Though identified… maybe. French, Spanish, Italian and other exotica won’t find understanding at all.

3. After your arrival at the airport, you’d better not use the services of a personal driver (if you hadn’t pay for an extreme tour “To be lost in snows somewhere in the outskirts of Moscow region”). Though remember, that if you hadn’t ordered a taxi before and now catch it near an airport, it will cost 4-5 times more.

4. A ticket to the metro is sold in the metro only. Forget about kiosks! Metro is a separate city, having its own rules and being guarded by its own Cerberuses. By the way, forget about tickets which are valid for an hour, a day, three days or a week. You should pay for every entry, and tickets for 5-10-20 entries would be just a bit cheaper. Every 1st day of any month you’ll find a rally near a ticket office with a ticket queue comparable with a queue to the Pushkin Museum at the weekend only.

5. But then, after entering the metro, you can spend there even the whole day, if you do not mind a dinner, consisting of stale hamburger and pepsi-cola. Though don’t forget you won’t find toilets anywhere, but on the surface (and definitely not near every metro station).

6. You can buy a ticket for a bus, a trolleybus or a tram at driver’s cab – though a driver will hardly have a change for your notes. Or at a box near a station - if you’ll be so lucky to see it open. Even the Muscovites rarely have such a luck.

7. You should enter a front door of a bus only – even if there is a half of the city trying to enter with you.

8. We do not recommend you to cross the street anywhere, but in the underpass. OK, three of ten drivers will probably brake after seeing a pedestrian crossing the street (even if it’s a green traffic light for pedestrians), but you’ll never guess surely, which three it would be. There are better ways to play a “Russian roulette”. And in the underpass your chances to be run over by a car are the least. Though they still do not come to nothing…

9. All foreigners pay much more than Russians for visiting a museum, a picture gallery or a historic monument. And that’s not a discount for local residents, that’s a rule, established in Soviets times – rich capitalists should be deprived of their money in favor of Soviet art. The Soviet times are gone, the robbery remains – a common situation in Russia.

10. Before visiting the Red Square, don’t forget to take your passport and documents, confirming your registration at the hotel. Otherwise, the valiant policemen, being very glad to discover you don’t have necessary documents, will decide that you don’t need your money, too.

P.S. What I do love in my fellow countrymen is their sense of humour towards bad sides of our dear Motherland XDDD

I don't understand, what is it - a new fashion for C/R at LP? LOL
Ohhh... I wished to have a favourite pairing without any argues about this top/bottom thing for such a long time and finally it seemed to me that I found it. But then... again?!
Why am I so unluckyyyyy? *tears to no end* XDDDDDDDDDD

UPD. A-a-and... the new stab in the back!!! My friends say that in the new serie of APH (I don't watch it) Vanya finally appears and looks terribly ukeish XDD I know, dear Universe, that's all for me, to show that no calmness can last for a long time LOL
(No, I won't give up! Especially taking into account that I read no manga, watch no anime and imagine Vanya's personality just like I want it to imagine XDDD And no-o-o-o, I'll never accept him wiping "it hurts"... OMG! OMG! OMG! My poor sensitive nervous system...)

Some weird thoughts in the middle of the night.

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The feeling of happiness is very subjective and doesn't depend on circumstances absolutely. For me happiness means interest. A calm (without too passionate, boiling emotions) but strong and vivid feeling of interest to the world, that can be sort of a background for all of my actions and thoughts. Perhaps that's something all of us experienced in childhood, a magical feeling of everything being new and exciting and curious to explore?
I wonder, why it usually disappears when we grow up. When it disappears? When we begin to think too much about reaction of the outer world, of public to our actions? When we begin to think about ourselves too much in general? (That's not like this in a childhood; while being kids we do not think about ourselves, but sooner different characters - fairies, wizards, dragons, princesses... XDDDD)
I do not know. Though I'm going to continue trying to find this feeling again, again and again, even if takes the whole my life to succeed.


The terrible thing is that when I see somewhere in Internet a man who just writes correctly (Russian I mean), without spelling and punctuation errors, I'm ready to fall in love with him Because it's such a rarity. Especaially for males. Ohh... Is it so difficult to learn and use all the rules? Or that's just because no one bothers itself with reading?
And yes, I am fastidious. Woe from wit, damn it... I understand my mom who married my father not being in love with him, but just because he was the only smart man she knew.

I wonder, what is the mechanism of dreams?
For me it was always like so, that people or things my consciousness had been full of during the day never appeared in my dreams (for example, I could imagine and write R18 scenes between my favourite characters for weeks, but there wasn't even a hint for this in my dreams XDDD) Just why?!

*cheerlessly* It seems like there's the only way to struggle the hysterical mode I'm in from the whole morning (what's going on, I don't understand? Is it these wretched 2 pages of text I wrote that made me SO nervous?!) Chocolate... Tons of chocolate. (I wish this antidepressant I need would better be sex, but... XDDD)
Though damn, what's about figure?! T_T


The last working day before the 8th of March - is probably a day I'm especially glad I'm a girl, not a boy XDDD
Poor men, there are just so many women in our corporation to congratulate... (and it seems to be the same in so many other companies! I just wonder, where do the most of men work? Do they work at all? XDD)
To tell the truth, I really hate holidays with their stuff... But today it was unexpectedly pleasant to receive flowers and presents.

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Although the temperature has raised about a 1 degree Celsius only (and it's about +1... +2 °C), there's definitely spring in the air. The most of this spring I felt yesterday in the evening... the warm wind and the deep deep blue sky, almost starless except the only bright star somewhere in the east. It was beautiful...

We went to the cinema, to "Australia", and though it was a typical hollywood film (it really seemed to me they've overdone with the pathos and the sweet sweet happy ending), but the landscapes of Australia were so magnificent... I've never felt a thirst for this country and this scenery (the vast plains, the red rocks, the sand), however yesterday I had this feeling, the feeling of presence and immersion into another world, I'm searching for the most of my time. The screenshots... maybe I'll try to find them.

It seems like I'm getting too much used to English O_O
Anyway, I'm going to add a new post in my Russian blog and first think about the text in English! XDD
Moreover, I know how to express my thought in English and do not know how to do it in Russian
Хотя... конечно, русский матерный ничто не заменит... LOL

This morning I had a dream. A bad one, in which you gave me to understand you despise me for everything I'm doing.
Maybe it's one of the worst of my fears... to be despised by someone who's important to me, but if tell the truth at heart I'm so sure I'm worthy of the deepest contempt it can be...
And the fear is -- that everyone discerns it under the words I'm saying and under the illusion I'm trying to create, that I'm oh so good...

Well. And now I must call my boss and say I'm ill. That's a lie, actually, I just didn't want to go at work (and I have not a present for her, she had a birthday yesterday; you may laugh but that's a real problem for me, that's also why I decided to make myself a day off). Not a very honourable action also... But I'm just nervous and frightened to do it.

UPD. Oh... Called her. And now welcome, the guilty conscience and the fears she'd understood I told a lie! Why can not I even act badly without this miserable uncertainty? LOL

Oh... I just love this shot, let it be here.


Still can not do anything with that picture for a challenge... Wrote about 3 sentences and can not continue... Bad, bad(((((((

I remeber a talk with a friend; she said she can not write when feeling happy. For me it's quite the contrary, apparently...

A full cycle

Somebody wanted NC-17? >_<

Here it is, though I was totally wrong considering it would be easier to do it in English than in Russian. The heck with the shyness, I just do not know enough words to describe the process! XDDD Well… what is done, it is done.

Author: Vansaires
Title: A full cycle
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Pairing: China/Russia, Russia/China
Rating: well… not NC-17 actually, but it’s all about smut XD
Genre: PWP!
Warning: Lousy English. AU and OOC (that means I do not take Ivan and Yao as Russia and China but as a Russian and a Chinese instead). Smut. Slash (though also contains a scene of het sex with female!Vanya… sorry, I just wanted Yao to be seme as well^^)
to loli武士

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It's also the Forgiveness Sunday today.
So I ask for a forgiveness those people, who's ever felt pain because of my actions (or lack of it).
I hope some day I'll be able to atone it and to bring rather happiness than displeasure


So, the 1st of March.


I wish you a Happy Spring
And myself, too.

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To wait for open registration at LP for so long and to find out, there also must be an invitation code?!

00.00, 28th February, the last day of the calendar winter.


Probably never in my life I've been waiting for spring so longingly... I just wanna see green, my favoutite colour, everywhere.

And now I'm going to make a days off-nonstop-anime-session, just to forget about everything. Started with "Cossette no Shouzou", then it will be... don't know even. Wanna something philosophical, metaphoric and... about love? Unhappy love! XD

Also should write a story until 21.00 Sunday (my friend made a challenge - to write something by association with a random art... and I agreed to participate, being in love with the idea: art is what usually gives me inspiration.  Now cursing myself for that, because a picture I got is... errr... really strange, but maybe after all it'll help me to overcome this writer's barrier, lasting for several months? But well... I just wish it was another R/C picture XD)

Current music: Kajiura Yuki - My Love, So Sweet (Le Portrait de Petit Cossette OST)

So what, let's remember the school times?
*prints an R18 fanfic, underlines unknown words and writes above a translation*

obscene - oh yes, I was looking forward for such a word!!! XDDDDD

What would my English teacher said, if she just knew what way I'm practicing my English now?.. :D

Oh nooo.... That's just a real pain to write NC-17 in English :((( My vocabulary is too poor for this, I can't :(((((

Seems like I should have read more R18 fanfics in English... XDDDDDDD


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Ghost Haunting

Author: Vansaires
Title: Ghost Haunting
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Pairing: Ivan Braginskiy/Wang Yao
Rating: PG (13?)
Warning: Yaoi. Lousy English. AU and OOC (that means I do not take Vanya and Yao as Russia and China but as a Russian and a Chinese instead)

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Millenium actress

What a film!! What a film!! (I really can not call it just an animation).


A woman loving a man, another man loving this woman, their meetings through dreams, through past, present and future, fantasy interwined with reality and 7 films just like 7 lifes, tied with symbols and symbolic scenes...


The first theme I liked so much - the Woman. The woman in love, struggling for her love, and though this love doesn't make her happy in a common meaning of this word and eventually turns out to be an illusion only, no one can deny, that it was the greatest power in her life, making her live, create, overcome any obstacle and make impossible possible. That is a man, who's usually considered to be the one, creating in the name of his love, in the name of his beloved one - Petrarca and Laura, Goethe and Lotta - but it's just so unfair! This is the same for both of the genders. I always wanted to write about a woman, making her life and her creativity a dedication to someone she loves. And "Millenium actress" is about it totally.


The second theme - love... Love as chasing endlessly the stealing and unachievable image, and it is significant that we never see the face of a man Chiyoko is in love with. It seems to me I've already met the definition of love as a light, that is reflected in different people you meet and love in your life, but the true sourse of this light is hidden, and you'll know what it is (probably) after your death only. Maube it'll turn out to be your "divine half", or you yourself, or the Absolute, or... nothing? But it is said that while the whole world is just an illusion, love and hate will be the only things to remain after the Universe fall asleep. And I like these words:)


"The world has changed. I didn't even imagined how to find him. But there still was a chance he'll watch one of the films I took part in".
But after all it turns out that the person, who watched and adored all of these films, was a different man, not the one she loved. Oh... *cries* Isn't it always so? The best works of art are usually created in the name of those, who don't know or care about it (the same Goethe and Petrarca as example). But then, the fruits of this work turn out to be a real value for someone else, not the one whom they were intended for - and that's the beautiful and sad law of the Universe.


And Genya... who's life is just a reflection of Chiyoko's life and who's possibly her real "divine half", though they'll both never know about it. "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction"(Antoine de Saint-Exupery) That was always one of my favourite quotations...


Oh... this film is exactly what I needed to see. Thanks.

And the music. Wonderful, as it's usual for anime, especially full-length ones (70% of my 80 Gb iPod is anime OSTs )


"Шелкопряд" seems to be the best song about Creativity, I've ever heard...

That's what Hellawes also says in her interview: "The "Silkworm" is probably the most painful, the most nervous song in the album, because it's the song about how the songs are written. This is almost always a very painful and intimate process for me, with blood. When a person needs to sing and he doesn't have this possibility, then he can fall ill really; this music, that lives inside of him, it can make a stomach ulcer, or make holes in the lungs, and then it will be a tuberculosis, and this song will go out like the real blood. I know this to a certainty, I know such people".

That is an absolute true... She talks about songs, but these words could also be applied to the other genres of Art, I'm totally sure. I feel just the same, when I can not write (and I can not for 3 months already, and this is such a pain, I really wish my body was thorn apart, but the words flowed out my fingers just like a blood - oh, I'm so pathetic, but whatever).


Oh yes, yes, yes!!! At last they uploaded the MP3-version of the new album!.. (The crisis; it was too expensive, we couldn't allow ourselves to buy it...)


That's probably the only Russian group I love SO much. Everything - melodies, songs and texts, very good texts, just like poetry. Yesterday we were at the concert, and Hellawes's voice is something really astonishing (yeah, that's me saying it, who usually prefers instrumental music). Oh...


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Of pairings and masochism

Well, I stare at the picture and think about this pairing, Alfred/Vanya.
It could have been a perfect fic, and maybe I could write it rather well, as far as for some time I was also fascinated by all of this - glamour, american dream, popularity and so on.
So, indulging in lust, falling in abyss, feeling himself dirty - and Yao being an image of true PURE and impossible love (not very historically correct, but whatever, we'll make it like the difference between East and West in Vanya's mind).  HAHAHA!
Oh God, I'm such a pervert masochist...
Why am I usually aroused by things making me feel pain?
Or that's just a protective reaction?
The long and short of it, I just feel that it IS wrong. And try not to allow such thoughts, but that's not so easy.
Sometimes I rather feel myself like a Dostoevsky's hero XDDDDDD After all, he's a great psychologist. Shoud re-read "Idiot", surely...

Oh yes!!! I've found a closed wood not so far from my work (and got lost in it, but it turned for the better eventually, as far as I found the gates even nearer to my office). Now I'll be able to go for a walk there during my lunch break. I've been dreaming of such a quiet piece of nature for such a long time! It's just surprising I didn't find it earlier... Such a luck the cash dispenser in my office was broken today and I had to go the different way then I planned before!

It was so beautiful, the tiny droplets of ice in the branches, shining in the sunlight... There's still only my mobile phone's camera, and it can not imprint these details, just likewise my poor English isn't able to express my true feelings, but all the same.




Oh, the only wish I had was to be there with someone of my true family... (see the previous post )

Feeling sad since the very morning, so decided to finish eventually Bach's "Illussions".

Actually, I don't like Bach very much, just because it seems to me he turns into mainstream what is written in more important books (and his popularity is a shortcoming for me). But maybe I'm wrong and too arrogant.

The long and short of it, today I looked at the text with somewhat different eyes and decided that's time to put into practice things I knew for so many years in theory.  However, to do it seems very easy, but well, turns out so difficult...

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Lost in Daydreams

Another day reading books about Russian history and daydreaming. Almost seeing this like it's happening in front of my eyes: amber valleys, fragrant herbs, clear blue sky, waters of the river, shining in the sun - the bright colours of golden and blue everywhere. And green, the spring... Then, a prince with his squad, cordial, cheerful, smiling to the sun; painted towers of Novgorod, a fair and people, dancing and laughing. And the sun, everywhere... Is it the lack of the sun influencing me so?..

That was the cruel, barbaric times, just don't know why I take it like this - feeling myself happy and lively when thinking of it.

Oh yes, just like this...

(Nicholas Roerich - "Guests from Overseas")

It seems to be impossible to express these feelings about my native land and it's history in unnative language, but his paintings are better than the words...



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